


with nobody else but me

by sarahyyy



Series: Friends with Benefits (with Feelings!) [2]
Category: S.C.I.谜案集 | S.C.I. Mystery (TV)
Genre: (mostly i mean there's a mix of book canon and show canon IT'S BEEN AWHILE), Canon Compliant, Friends With Benefits, Getting Together, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-29 14:44:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15731544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahyyy/pseuds/sarahyyy
Summary: Zhan Yao snorts. “We didn’t see each other for the three years I was in New York, and you’re in still love with me now. Clearly you can’t fix it on your own.”Yutong glares at him. “I’m not letting you hypnotise me into falling out of love with you, you crazy cat.”(Or, the one where they are friends with benefits (with feelings), but it takes them a couple of years to get there.)





	with nobody else but me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [margrave](https://archiveofourown.org/users/margrave/gifts).
  * Translation into 中文 available: [with nobody else but me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15813477) by [Rosewood](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosewood/pseuds/Rosewood), [sarahyyy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahyyy/pseuds/sarahyyy)



> Because she dragged me back into the SCI fandom when I thought that I'd escaped it, and I'm still trying to figure out if I should thank her or hate her for it.

“Bai Yutong,” Zhao Yao calls, and fuck, it’s been so long since the last time Yutong’s had this to himself. “ _Bai Yutong_.” 

Zhao Yao’s body warm and tucked against Yutong’s, Zhan Yao’s voice soft and close and calling out for him, Zhan Yao-

_-pinching him hard on the arm._

“Ow!” Yutong cries. “What was that for?” he asks grumpily, but doesn’t make a move to draw his hand back from where its wrapped around Zhan Yao’s waist. He’s comfortable where he is, even if Zhan Yao has clearly got up on the wrong side of bed.

Zhan Yao twists to look pointedly over his shoulder at Yutong. 

“ _What?_ ” Yutong asks.

Zhan Yao shifts against him, and _ah_. 

Yutong sighs happily, presses closer, and nuzzles against the back of Zhan Yao’s neck. “Zhan Yao,” he starts. “Do you want to-” 

“No,” Zhan Yao says firmly, before Yutong can finish his thought. “Bai Yutong, we aren’t horny teenagers anymore.”

“Exactly,” Yutong says smoothly. “I’ve learnt a lot of new tricks since then.” He shifts his hips, presses his cock closer to Zhan Yao’s ass. “It’ll be fun, c’mon.”

Zhan Yao doesn’t respond for a long moment, and Yutong doesn’t press him to make up his mind. 

The fact that Zhan Yao hasn’t already pushed him away is already a good enough indication of what’s going to happen next; Yutong just needs to give Zhan Yao enough time to come to qualms with it himself. 

“Just… _once_ ,” Zhan Yao says eventually, dislodging Yutong’s arm so that he can turn over to look at Yutong. “And we have to remain professional at work.” 

“That second thing goes without saying. But be reasonable, there’s never _‘just once’_ with us,” Yutong says with a snort. “Until the case is over,” he counters. 

He hasn’t said it yet, but Yutong can make an educated guess that once the case is over, Zhan Yao will probably be off on a flight back to New York, and Yutong will have to just go back to dealing with his Zhan Yao-sized problem on his own. No biggie. That’s how it’s always been. Yutong can absolutely deal with that.

Zhan Yao nods, quick enough that he flushes, and it makes Yutong grin - Zhan Yao must have been aiming for the same as well, but he’s just always liked to be difficult with Yutong. 

He reaches up to cup Zhan Yao’s face in his hand, traces his thumb lightly over Zhan Yao’s lips. “I’ve missed you, _Kitten_ ,” he murmurs, and moves closer, intending to press his lips to Zhan Yao’s.

Zhao Yao stops him with a hand to his chest. “The same rules that used to apply should still apply now, Bai Yutong,” he reminds Yutong, brow arched. 

Yutong had honestly hoped that Zhan Yao would’ve forgotten about that stupid rule against kissing, but clearly, _clearly_ he hasn’t. 

He would be proud of the fact that the...thing between them left such an impression on Zhan Yao, except that he can’t physically think of anything except how stupid he was back when he was seventeen.

“I wasn’t going to,” Yutong shoots back, trying for casual, and hoping that he at least hits the mark, that he doesn’t come out sounding petulant because he just wants to fucking kiss Zhan Yao on the lips just once. 

No matter. 

If Zhan Yao doesn’t want to be kissed, then Yutong will just...not kiss him. He won’t ever do anything that Zhan Yao doesn’t want him to. 

He’s lived with that stupid rule for years before. He can do it now, still. 

Yutong leans in again, this time to press his lips to Zhan Yao’s jaw, kisses his way down Zhan Yao’s neck, humming in pleasure when Zhan Yao tilts his head to allow Yutong better access.

The next time he calls out Yutong’s name, it’s breathy and full of want. 

And it should feel like a win, except Yutong wants to swallow the words from Zhan Yao’s mouth, wants to feel Zhao Yao’s lips tremble against his. 

It’s honestly more of a problem than he thinks seventeen year old Bai Yutong would’ve thought it would be. 

—

The most tragic thing is that the rule against kissing was something that Bai Yutong came up with himself when he was a stupid teenager who had no idea that he would one day be heads over fucking heels for Zhan Yao, who thought kissing his best friend on the lips would be _weird_ and _too intimate_. 

“As opposed to everything else you’re saying we should do?” Zhan Yao had asked, unconvinced. 

“That’s different,” Yutong had insisted. “Kissing is...something you do when feelings are involved. Orgasms are not.” He rolled his eyes when Zhan Yao smirked at him. “You know what I’m trying to get at.”

“Yeah, I do,” Zhan Yao had said then. “We’re just doing this together because it’s convenient.”

“ _Yes_.”

“Because doing this with anyone else would be messy, and we don’t have the time for that.”

Yutong had nodded, glad to have gotten his point across. 

This was why he’d asked Zhan Yao, instead of anyone else. Zhan Yao gets him. Zhan Yao would understand Yutong even if Yutong didn’t have the words to explain it to him. 

“ _Yes_.”

“Alright. That actually makes more sense than I thought it would,” Zhan Yao said. “What do we want to try first? Handjobs?” 

—

It’s...harder than Yutong expected it to be, having Zhan Yao around him all the time and getting to do all sorts of things with and to Zhan Yao, but not being able to kiss him.

In his defence, three years away from Zhan Yao is a very long time, long enough for all the immunity he used to have built up against all these urges to _kiss Zhan Yao_ to be completely useless now. 

And besides, Zhan Yao at twenty-five is markedly different from Zhan Yao at twenty-two. There’s a different air of confidence around him now, which is saying a lot considering how Zhan Yao has always been very aware of his own superiority. It should be off-putting, but Yutong thinks it makes hearing Zhan Yao beg for his touch even hotter than it used to be. 

And Zhan Yao does beg, very prettily, for Yutong, proving that Yutong still knows him, knows all of him, even after all these years. 

It does not solve the problem of him wanting to kiss Zhan Yao all the time, however. 

He wakes up one morning and almost does, almost tries to steal a kiss, before a voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like Zhan Yao reminded him about how disappointed Zhan Yao would probably be if he took advantage of a sleeping Zhan Yao like that, and stopped himself. 

It’d also meant that he was mostly in a foul mood at work the entire day, alternating between seething at himself for being so weak for Zhan Yao that his inner voice is apparently channeling Zhan Yao now, and lamenting the fact that he was so hopelessly in love for Zhan Yao but was cowardly enough to not say anything about it. 

—

And so Yutong takes to more creative means. 

He promised himself that he wouldn’t kiss Zhan Yao if Zhan Yao didn’t want him to, so obviously, the way around the whole no kissing rule is to just make Zhan Yao _want to kiss him_.

Which, in hindsight, is easier said than done. 

A whole two days of subtle and _non-subtle_ lip-biting yielded no results. 

Neither did the lip touching, or even the fucking _lip gloss_. 

At this point, Yutong is fairly certain everyone else at the S.C.I. unit has sort of figured it out. Everyone except for Zhan Yao, that is. 

If it weren’t for the fact that he knows Zhan Yao well enough to know that he wouldn’t be able to keep something like this to himself, Yutong would almost think that Zhan Yao is playing him.

That would almost be better, but no — Zhan Yao just honestly has no clue what Yutong is doing, even though Yutong is really trying here. 

—

It all comes to a head one day at work, when Zhan Yao comes into Yutong’s office where Yutong is hiding from the one-too-many sly jokes that Ma Han has been making about his hopeless courtship of Professor Zhan. 

Ma Han doesn’t know the half of it. 

If she ever finds out that Yutong is _already_ sleeping with Zhan Yao, and that all he’s been doing is to just get Zhan Yao to kiss him, she’d probably laugh herself to death.

“What’s wrong with you?” Zhan Yao asks, leaning against Yutong’s desk.

“Nothing,” Yutong mumbles.

Zhan Yao looks unconvinced and unimpressed, and Yutong sighs. 

“Do you really not know?” Yutong asks. “For someone who’s supposed to be able to read me like a book, you’re not doing a very good job now. Come on, Professor Zhan, tell me what you’ve observed.”

Zhan Yao sighs. “It’s Ma Han,” he says. “She said something to you earlier this morning, and now you’ve cooped yourself up in your office. What did she say, hmm?”

“What? You couldn’t read that from our body language and miniscule facial expressions?” 

“Don’t be snappish with me when I’m just trying to be a good friend,” Zhan Yao says.

A good friend.

_A good friend._

Yutong sighs deeply. “Do you know that even when I want to strangle you that I still want to kiss the fuck out of you?”

Zhan Yao seems taken aback at Yutong’s words. He’s quiet for a beat, and then, “Kissing is something you do when-”

“ _I know what I said_ ,” Yutong snaps. The casual dismissiveness in Zhan Yao’s voice is suddenly too much to bear. 

Zhan Yao is quiet for a long moment. 

“What’s wrong, Yutong?” he asks finally, sitting down opposite Yutong. “You were the one who-”

Everything the darned cat says today is like a knife through his heart. “You don’t have to keep reminding me,” he tells Zhan Yao. “I remember.”

Zhan Yao falls silent again, and Yutong lets the quiet fall over them. 

He should apologise. His tone was unnecessarily harsh. Just because Zhan Yao doesn’t return his feelings, doesn’t mean that Yutong needs to take it out on him. 

“Okay,” Zhan Yao says, before Yutong is able to awkwardly parse out an apology. “If you want to kiss me, I’m alright with that.”

Yutong looks up at him. “What?”

“I never had any qualms against kissing,” Zhan Yao says. “I just thought… It made sense when you said it, before, when we were children. About kissing, and feelings. But we’re adults now, we know better.” He shrugs. “So yeah, I’m okay with it if you want to kiss me.”

Yutong wants to punch Zhan Yao in his stupidly beautiful face. 

“That’s not- I’m not-” He scrubs a hand over his face, and then thinks _fuck it_. “I still mean it. I still mean what I said, about how kissing is something we should only do when feelings are involved. And you’re right. I _do_ want to kiss you. I want to kiss you so very much. I have for _years_ , and I _would’ve_ probably been doing it for years if I wasn’t stupid enough to say that I didn’t want to back then.”

Zhan Yao’s eyes are wide with what Yutong hopes isn’t confusion or disbelief. 

“Do you need me to say it?” Yutong asks, desperate. “Can you not work out what I’m trying to tell you for yourself, Professor Zhan?” 

When Zhan Yao doesn’t do anything but just stare at Yutong, Yutong gives in and grabs him by the shoulders, shaking him a little. 

“It’s not that complicated, Kitten,” he says. “I’m _in love with you_.” 

—

It’s almost an hour later before Zhan Yao finds him sulking in his favourite watering hole. He mustn’t have been trying too hard to find Yutong, then. Probably spent the entire time trying to figure out how to let Yutong down gently instead.

Fuck that. 

Zhan Yao hates beating around the bush, and he hates having to talk around a subject. Yutong isn’t some delicate flower that needs his pride protected even at the cost of making Zhan Yao feel uncomfortable. 

“You don’t have to say anything,” Yutong says, when Zhan Yao comes to him. “I’m okay. I’ll get over it, I promise.”

Zhan Yao sits down opposite Yutong, somber. “Years, you said,” he says. “You said you’ve wanted to for years.”

Yutong looks away, takes another swig out of the bottle in his hand. “Yes,” he acknowledges. “What of it?”

“How long have you known?” Zhan Yao asks. “Specifically.” 

“A couple of months after we first started the whole arrangement.” He holds his hand up to stop Zhan Yao from speaking. He can already tell what Zhan Yao is going to ask. “I didn’t say anything because whatever arrangement we had then seemed to be working out. I made such a huge fuss out of the no-strings-attached part of things when we started, and you… You seemed to agree with that bit most of all.” He lets out a self-deprecating laugh. “That’s why I didn’t say anything.” 

Zhan Yao eyes him. “How much have you been drinking?” he asks.

Yutong smiles at that. “Not enough for you to worry,” he tells Zhan Yao.

“I’m not asking because I’m worried,” Zhan Yao says. “I have some things to say to you, and I’m trying to figure out if you’re sober enough for the conversation now, or if it’ll keep till tomorrow.” 

“I told you you don’t have to say anything to me. I got myself into this whole mess, and I will fix it on my own,” Yutong says with a sigh.

Zhan Yao snorts. “We didn’t see each other for the three years I was in New York, and you’re in still love with me now. Clearly you can’t fix it on your own.”

Yutong glares at him. “I’m not letting you hypnotise me into falling out of love with you, you crazy cat.” 

His feelings for Zhan Yao may be hopeless, but he’d rather have them than not. 

“That’s not how hypnosis wor-” Zhan Yao sighs. “Never mind, that’s not the point.”

“What is your point?” Yutong asks. 

“I love you too,” Zhan Yao says firmly, even though his cheeks flush. “Always have, I think. Definitely before you started to have feelings for me, is the point here.”

Yutong drops his bottle of beer in shock. It crashes loudly and makes a mess on the floor, but no-one comes over to interrupt them. Yutong is so definitely going to have to thank the barkeep for putting up with him after this.

Zhan Yao looks at him, unwavering, if a little amused. “Well?”

“ _Why didn’t you say anything?_ ” the words come out of him before he thinks better of it. 

It’s a stupid question; of course Zhan Yao wouldn’t have said anything. Zhan Yao never vocalises his feelings unless Yutong is the one who coaxes it out of him. 

Zhan Yao, bless him, looks a little offended. “That’s a little hypocritical, considering how you also said nothing about those feelings you were harbouring for me.”

“Yes, but I’m an _idiot_.” Yutong reaches across the table to take one of Zhan Yao’s hands in his own. “Do you actually have feelings for me, or are you just trying to avoid having to let me down?” 

Zhan Yao sighs heavily. “You really are an idiot,” he says fondly, which is all the answer Yutong needs. “C’mon, give me your car keys. I’ll drive you home. I’m not kissing you till you’ve rinsed the taste of alcohol out of your mouth.”

Yutong grins. “Wanna bet?”

—

They make it to Yutong’s Spyker C8 before Zhan Yao gives in and lets Yutong press himself close and lick into his mouth. 

Yutong pulls away for long enough to murmur, “Do you know how long I’ve wanted to do this, Kitten?” He kisses Zhan Yao again, because he can now and there is no force or higher power that can stop him from doing so all the fucking time, relishing in the soft sounds of pleasure he draws out from Zhan Yao. 

“Did you used to think about this?” Zhan Yao asks, when they part for breath. 

“All the time,” Yutong confesses. “When you were in New York, I…” 

I wanted to go to you. 

I wanted you to come back.

I didn’t realise that being away from you would feel so terrible.

He doesn’t finish his sentence, but he knows from the way Zhan Yao is looking at him that Zhan Yao understands. Zhan Yao always understands him. 

“When this case wraps up...” Yutong swallows. “Will you stay?” 

Zhan Yao presses their foreheads together, brings his hand up to softly caress Yutong’s cheek. Yutong would be embarrassed by how eagerly he leans into the touch, but he’s distracted by the fondness in Zhan Yao’s eyes, by the sweetness of Zhan Yao’s smile. 

“You really are an idiot,” Zhan Yao says for what seems to be the billionth time today. “ _You’re_ here. Where else would I go?”

Yutong kisses him again.

**Author's Note:**

> I...couldn't remember what show canon was with regards to Zhan Yao going away to further his studies, and I was going to rewatch the show just to find out, but if I had I probably wouldn't have finished this fic. /o\ That being said, I'm p sure he went to NY in the book, so that's what I went with??? Someone correct me if I'm wrong!
> 
> Also, don't look at me like this, y'all knew that it was only a matter of time before I wrote fic for SCI the moment I started Thirsting over Gao Hanyu on Tumblr. /o\ Y'ALL NEED TO STOP ENABLING THIRST HOUR OKAY?
> 
> As usual, you can all find me [here on Tumblr](http://sarah-yyy.tumblr.com). Thirst Hour is apparently all the hours so feel free to come and yell at me about whoever it is you want to thirst over together with me.


End file.
